More Tips to Attain Mediocrity

I don't know if I spelled mediocrity correctly, but spelling is just another skill in which I find myself to be mediocre. Fortunately, I have excellent skills such as: riding no-handed on the rollers, playing video games on the rollers and riding no-handed, one-legged with two beers on the rollers. Clearly, I have achieved my life goals.

As you can tell, I have been spending some time doing base mileage on the rollers and trainer in the recent weeks. The nature has not been ideal for riding, so New England cyclists have been forced indoors. If you have spent time pedaling on a trainer/rollers, you will know the many complaints I have with such training. I will not go into detail on any of the hardships I have encountered. But, you can imagine your ass hurts after extended hours indoors, your psychological stability becomes suspect, and your ability to quote movies, verbatim mind you, becomes perfect. What's a cyclist without a pro contract to do?

Like the Canadian Geese flying overhead in fall, cyclists find it necessary to migrate south at some point in the winter. These trips need not be month long stays in training meccas like Mallorca or the Canary Islands. A simple long weekend or week spent lavishing in the sun of the southern U.S. is ample time to clear the mind of any weather-beaten New England cyclist and put some color on his legs. It's just about time for one of those adventures.

This year, like last year, I will be taking two trips to warmer climates. If you are hoping to attain mediocrity, I suggest you take notes. The first trip is a multi-faceted training trip for both cycling and traveling. Over the Valentine's Day weekend, there are two races in North Carolina. We will be traveling down for a three day stint of riding and enjoying the sunshine. The cycling training is obvious. Between getting in some early race miles, we will have the ability to do additional riding and lay the ground work for impressive cyclist tans. But, more importantly, we will be strengthening our traveling skills. A weekend trip of this distance makes the need for efficiency imperative. Inefficiency=Less Sun. So, we train our bodies to go longer without food and nature brakes. We learn to urinate in gallon jubs. We perfect our skills at reading traffic and make note of important exits containing Sheetz and Cook Out restaurants. In short, we create a model of efficient traveling to be implemented in the real trip.

The real trip is our week-long training trip. This has typically been located in Florida where warm weather is normally guaranteed. The riding is sub-par, no climbing and lots of traffic, but pedaling in shorts and short sleeve jerseys is well worth the lack of scenic riding. During the training "camp" we ride for 4-5 hours a day, BBQ, sit poolside and relax. There is nothing better than sitting in your shorts eating hamburgers while it's snowing back home. NOTHING. Plus, you return from the trip fit, tan and mentally prepared to deal with one more month of Mother Nature's antics.

One month and counting until I find the warm weather. Back to the rollers until then.